Believe Women - Vol 2 No 6

The standard for what is abuse is a woman's word. Period.

Gender Theory Class     

Eight people sat in class with the professor and the other twenty students in the class were streamed in remotely.  Among the eight, one gray-haired, smartly dressed gentleman stands out in the group. He has a neatly combed mustache and goatee, quite in contrast to the much younger men and women with facial piercings and skinny jeans. He certainly stands out from the 6' 4" man in process of becoming a woman wearing four inch heels and makeup to cover his heavy five o'clock shadow. Mike is definitely not the person you would expect in this Sociology of Gender class, but that is right where he belongs. He has come to love these students and his professor as well. She is a very kind woman, albeit in his opinion, very confused.  Interestingly, she does not seem to like to confront.  She is not at all pugnacious, but she defends her firmly held beliefs as does Mike, though they are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

What's the standard for sexual abuse and harassment?

She began the class by lecturing about toxic masculinity and sexual harassment (again).  She is lamenting that men in general are patriarchal bullies and mistreat women at every opportunity, wanting to flex their power over women to build themselves up. She is defining sexual harassment in some pretty scary ways.”

"Men are compulsive because they are toxic and in general, have to flex their manhood," she lamented.  "Men want to be dominant, and they demand dominance. They enforce dominance with their muscles, and culture helps them be dominant over females. Women have been forced by the culture to be passive and submissive."

She surveyed a sea of nodding acquiescent faces, except for one.

Mike pushes back.  "Are most men like that?  And are most women passive and submissive?  I don't think so."

"That kind of talk is what brought about the '#MeToo movement'," she shot back.

"Women have been subjugated by men and are now speaking out. We need to teach people what sexual harassment is, what right is and what consent is."

Mike clarified, "There are certainly women out there who have been disrespected and devalued by men, but you seem to put all or most men in the category of perpetrators of abuse or harassment."

She was passionate. "Look at the '#MeToo movement' and how many women were emboldened to speak out about their harassment or abuse, and they are just the tip of the iceberg!"  

Mike countered, "I grieve for these women, but what is the standard they are using for saying they are harassed or abused?  Unless there is a standard, how will we know if it is abuse or not? There is a lot at stake for everyone." 

The standard is the woman's word. Period.

The professor sought to clarify. "The standard is the woman's word. Period. For instance, if two people are together whether male-male, female-female, or male-female, if alcohol is involved, that person cannot give consent."

Mike raised his hand. "How much alcohol?"

"Any at all," she declared.

"Really!"  Mike was startled. " None at all!  So, you are saying that if a woman has had any alcohol at all, she cannot give her legal consent for sex.  If a man has sex with her, even if she asks him to, if she has had any alcohol at all, then he is exercising improper dominance over her, and it is rape or at the least sexual abuse."

"That's right."  She looked directly at him with a determined face.

"But that standard doesn't even apply to driving," Mike argued. "The government says that a person is not impaired until they have reached a certain alcohol level.  They have determined that up to that point a person can make appropriate decisions.  Shouldn't that apply to consent situations as well?"

"No. No, it shouldn't."  The professor was adamant. "It takes a lot for women to get the courage to defend themselves against this world of toxic masculinity.  They must not be taken advantage of.  When a women speaks out against a man, she must be heard and believed. Period"

Mike's thoughts went to men who have been accused of sexual impropriety without proof, based solely on the testimony of a woman who "came out" years, even decades, later.  Men like Justice Kavanaugh, Justice Clarence Thomas, and Judge Roy Moore were falsely accused, and it had a detrimental effect on them, their families and arguably, on our system of law.

"Isn’t that a dangerous weapon to put into a woman's hand?" Mike asked. "She could claim a guy was improper with her because she is jealous, hateful or just angry, wanting to be the center of attention.  With the '#MeToo movement', what level of validation do they need to achieve?"

Undeterred, she pressed, "Just by coming forward they have reached the level of validation. They should be believed because it takes so much courage for them to come forward that if they do come forward, that validates that what they’re saying is true."

Guilty until proven innocent

"Don’t you think the offended should have to prove their claim?" Mike asked.

"No, if they make the claim they should be believed and then the person being accused should have to prove their innocence.”

"Well, that would throw jurisprudence on its head! " Mike exclaimed. "Our country is founded on the principle of freedom that you are innocent until proven guilty.  Never is there a situation where the accused should have to prove his innocence. You would be doing away with hundreds of years of American jurisprudence founded on the previous hundreds of years of persecution because there was no justice for the accused.  Our country is great, and we are free, in part, because of our solid system of justice that says a man is to be considered innocent unless he can be proven guilty.  That is founded on biblical principle."

"Not everyone believes the Bible.  It is not truth for them."  she said.  "What's true for you is not true for them."

"They may think that, but what people believe does not have the ability to create or destroy truth." 

"What do you call truth?”

"Whatever comports with Scripture is reality and truth.  Biblical Christianity is total truth."

Ignoring his point, she reverted to her previous point.  "Some things need to change to protect women and that means our system of jurisprudence.  There is a difference between affirmative consent unprovoked by alcohol and body language consent. Toxic men believe that all women want them and brag about being rough with their sexual partners. Showing their strength in the sexual exploits is what they are all about with no concern for the woman and no concern for the outcome."

Mike spoke up.  "Well, that’s not the biblical man. Our reading talked about this behavior as common in the Christian man. As a Christian man, I can tell you that yes, there are sexual desires in all men, but God calls on us to control them. Self-control is a fruit of God's Spirit. God puts boundaries around our sexual behavior that are very clear.  If a man does not control his desires and rapes or abuses, he puts himself in legal jeopardy. That is as it should be. Just because we have the desire for things, doesn’t mean we act on them."

"And I'll bet that you think that is restricted to one man and one woman." she said with a sarcastic sneer.

"More than that." Mike boldly spoke.  "It's a livelong commitment of one man and one woman to serve and love one another, living for and raising children for God's glory."

She laughed heartily. "The divorce rate is over 50%.  Christian men are just as bad as other men. They go to church and then turn around and exercise their toxic masculinity.”

"Not true," said Mike. "Many claim to be 'Christian' but going to church no more makes you a Christian than going into a garage makes you a car!"

The class burst out laughing; even the professor managed a smile.

Mike continued.  "True Christian men follow the Word of God as to how they exercise their masculinity.  While they are not perfect and often need God's forgiveness in how they treat their wives and other women, generally speaking, true Christian men walk with God, exercising self-control and proper love for others as God gives them strength to do that.  Jesus said that you will know who the true Christian is by his fruit, that is, by how much he obeys God's Word in the way he treats God and others."     

After class

To his surprise, two of the female students came over to him after class and smiling broadly said, "Mr. Mike, (they call him, "Mr. Mike") can we give you a socially distanced group hug?"   They both held out their arms widely while staying six feet away.  A large grin spread across Mike's face as he threw out his arms to join the wide circle.  "I'd love to!" he said.  God is clearly working in hearts.

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