Toxic Masculinity - Vol 2 No 5

Do you like to give your wife flowers? Be careful...you may be a toxic male.

Are You Toxic?    

Toxic Masculinity.  That's a hot topic in the gender-theory world. You may not have realized that being masculine may be toxic.  If you are a male, you may be asking yourself, "Am I toxic?"  "Am I… 'very harmful and noxious in a pervasive or insidious way?'"  which is the definition of "toxic."  Well, if you are a Christian male who believes that you have been given a mandate by God to lead your family, provide for them, protect your family, if you like to give your wife flowers and gifts, and see yourself as the head of your family...you are toxic.  Sorry. You are a noxious, dangerous human being who is hurting your fellow humankind by being a patriarchal male. No kidding.

Fallacious Logic

Those concerned with "toxic masculinity" and "hegemonic toxic masculinity", which emphasizes the heinousness of male dominance, have generalized the negative deviations of the way men have been hardwired to be and labeled these as the norm.   While men are hardwired by God to be strong, providers, leaders of their families and competitive in general, some men have sinfully abused these tendencies and traits to the detriment of themselves, their wives and their children. As per the goal of the class, these abuses are construed to be the norm and as such the idea of the patriarchal family is taboo and must be obliterated.  We all know males who are obnoxious or even dangerous in their "machoism."  We know men who sinfully exploit their mandate from God to be leaders of their wives and children by displaying sinful behavior like aggression, violence and devaluation of them. While there are certainly a number of men who act this way, this is by no means the norm.  This line of reasoning has a name.  It is the "Exception Fallacy."  The exception fallacy occurs when data about a small cross-section of people is used to draw conclusions about a large group of people.  Again, while there are a number of males we would agree are toxic, to claim that the patriarchal paradigm of male leadership is as a norm exercised in a manner of hegemony and oppression is patently false.

Classroom Exchange

So Mike's Sociology of Gender class began with the professor talking about masculinity as toxic. 

"Women are afraid of toxic masculinity," the professor bemoaned.

Mike raised his hand. "What makes masculinity toxic?"   

"When a man takes on the provider, protector, head or decision-making profile, he is dominating women and creating fear in women," the professor asserted firmly.

"Are you saying that what has been the cultural norm for millennia, where men are providing for their families, protecting them, protecting their countries and seeing themselves as the head of their families, all of that is toxic and harmful?"

"Yes.  That male profile turns into bullying and not just of women, but of other men.  It is harassment.  You can always tell a toxic male by the way he is always showing off his strength to others."

Mike said, "I want to be a good provider for my family and have a sense of responsibility to protect and provide for them in an able and dependable way.  I want to be a strong leader of my family…”

She interrupted and finished Mike’s sentence, "And that's the kind of toxic masculinity that has to be gutted."

"Really!"  said Mike.  "So those who want to display their strength are toxic.  Are all wrestlers and weightlifters toxic?"

"No," she responded.  "Women lift weights."

"Can women be toxic males?" Mike lifted his eyebrows with a wry smile.

"Mike brings up an important question," she responded seriously. "People should be male or female based on their will.  How they feel. How they want to present themselves. I want everyone to be on the same plane as they present themselves in order to equalize the culture. But we are so behind the times! On one hand, Mike is on to something. We are so behind the times because there are hegemonical women. I have a friend to who is a female sociologist and a scholar in these issues.  But she recently told me that she wants to marry a man who is significantly stronger than she is who will provide her with a sense of security.  I was aghast!  She said this was a dealbreaker in her relationship."

"Where do these propensities come from?  Mike queried.

"Where do you think they came from?" she retorted.

"I think they come from God who made men to be physically stronger in order to protect and provide for their families and who made women to be gentler, relationship-oriented, and nurturers so they can care for others, especially their children."

"Ohhhhh, from God" she spat.  She turned to the camera where the class was being broadcast to the online students, and spoke directly into it. Mockingly she said,  "Mike thinks they came from... God."

Undeterred, Mike said.  "That's right.  God made us male and female with the perfect propensities to form marriages and have families.  And His ways are perfect. To fight against them is to fight in vain."

Much more was said but you get the gist of it.  If God designed it, it must be destroyed.  Very clearly, this is a spiritual battle.

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